How to Manage Grief and Loss During the Holidays

For many, the holidays are the most wonderful time of the year. But if you are grieving the loss of a friend or loved one, the season can be difficult. Feelings of sadness, sorrow, and even guilt overshadow the joys of gatherings and traditions.

“The holidays often tend to intensify one’s grief,” said Janice Neal Meyer, MDiv, GC-C, Certified Grief Counselor at Stuhr Funeral Home.

“Those feelings of clouded thoughts, sadness, fatigue, the inability to concentrate, tears, tears and more tears, and perhaps some anger or regrets, are just a few feelings that many people experience in their grief.”

With these intense emotions swirling around, how do you navigate this so-called merry season while coping with your loss?

Meyer says to expect the grief instead of hoping you can suppress it.

“It is a normal human emotion,” she says. “Make space for this grief and allow yourself to just be. Give yourself space and a quiet time for the soul. Reduce the expectations you may place on yourself. Also, remember that you may be both sad and grateful simultaneously – sad that the loved one has died and grateful for the time you had.”

The holidays are also the perfect time to honor the life of the person who has passed.

“Talk about the loss and absence in your life,” Meyer said. “Affirm life and hope. Write a holiday letter or poem to your loved one, or simply journal about your feelings and your loved one.”

Meyer suggests finding time and places to honor your loved one with intentional remembrances.

“For example, in your home, you can light a new candle at a special time of the day or week in memory of the loved one,” she said. “Many choose to sit for a bit of reflection and meditation or journaling at this time. Some honor the deceased with donations to their place or program of choice that brought meaning, hope, and purpose to the loved one’s life. Some honor their loved one by simply saying, I love you and I miss you.”

Remember too that it’s also okay to celebrate the holidays with family and friends, even while you’re grieving.

“It is also okay to laugh,” says Meyer. “A bereaved person in a group recently shared that when they laughed for the first time after the death of their loved one, they were reminded that they can laugh again. This will be different for each person. Honoring the loved one with intentional family time to share photos and special memories or to make a special holiday ornament can be very healthy and healing. Some places of worship have special services for the bereaved during the holidays.”

 

Grieving can be taxing on your mind and body, so Meyer says it’s important to practice self-care.

“You may also still be recovering from ‘caregiver exhaustion’ in addition to your present grief,” she says. “Go outside and get some form of exercise that is appropriate for you. See your doctor or health care provider. Grief may affect all parts of one’s body and health. Be kind to yourself. Practice your faith of choice in whatever rituals of prayer, worship, devotions, meditations that are a part of your faith. Be gentle with yourself and find grief support that works for you.”

Most importantly, Meyer says, if at any time you feel that you are unsafe in your grief, call 911.

The team at J. Henry Stuhr recognizes and honors that each one’s grief is highly personal and may be affected by many different bereavement risk factors. They offer a 1:1 grief support session with a Certified Grief Counselor to further assess one’s grief and needs, followed by referral to other community resources or to the ongoing grief support groups offered throughout the year.

During the holidays, J. Henry Stuhr hosts multiple Holiday Grief workshops and grief support groups that strive to provide a safe, trusting place for the bereaved to express their grief and needs, or just listen if talking is too difficult.

The holiday grief support includes considering many different aspects of grief during the holidays, including how to begin preparing oneself for the holidays in the midst of life-changing loss and grief.

“We offer models of remembrance that one can use alone or with family and we offer considerations on how to practice self-care during a very fragile and vulnerable time in one’s life,” Meyer said.

“We also allow oneself to feel joy and hope again as each one is ready. Finding a balance between grief and hope may be different for each person. We are here at J. Henry Sthur’s to make this journey with you.”

Upcoming J. Henry Stuhr’s Holiday Grief Workshops include:

• Mt. Pleasant at South Bay Retirement Community on Monday, December 8, at 2 p.m.
• J. Henry Stuhr’s, 232 Calhoun St., Charleston, on Thursday, December 11, at 1:30-3 p.m.
• J. Henry Stuhr’s 2026 ongoing year-round grief support groups will resume in Charleston, N. Charleston and Mt. Pleasant in January 2026.

For more information about grief support, call J. Henry Stuhr’s 843-723-2524.